drowning in a daydream

This last week has been awesome. There are so many words to describe what I am feeling right now. They are all swirling in my head. But none of them seem to be surfacing. Because of which I have been speechlessly happy from last Tuesday onwards.

Yes, I am talking about my long time crush, my bunch of grapes (that’s what he was for a fancy dress competition in school, I was a sweet – how intensely lame we were.. no wait, I think I still am..)

I met him practically everyday. We went shopping. He bargains like he’s been doing it all his life. And it was super to see the pure triumph on his face when he got things for hundreds less than the original.

He bought me a bracelet and then had it engraved. And he made me a pendant that will forever be my favourite accessory. But the best was the song. I love the song. No one has ever bothered to take time out to rhyme for me. He sang it to me too. I have never had anyone who sang for me. The one line I love – and the only line I am going to share is: “The little boy, who is now a man, becomes a little boy when he holds your hand” - The song is pretty darn good, according to him...hahaha.. modesty is not a strong virtue with him.. i loooovvve it.

I went to meet him on the evening he was leaving. He needed to get some last minute things done, so I followed him around doing that. Then we went for an annual get together of his aunt’s colony, the place he was staying. I couldn’t stop looking at him. I probably needed to absorb all I could.

He reached me to a rickshaw, I needed to go back home. As my rickshaw moved away, I sunk deeper into pain. Have you ever had something that you never wanted to let go of but you had to, not by choice but by circumstance? It could be a toy, a book, a picture or, in my case, a person.

I am stunned. It seems like some intensely real daydream I had. I will miss the constant jokes and the laughs, the rickshaw rides, the winks, the train to Bandra, the hand holding, the fun, the warmth, the comfort and the looks. I will miss his smile. Damn I wish I was looking at it right now…

Brightside? I am going to keep in touch with him. And if, after 14 years, he is back in my life, it is for a reason (can’t wait to find out what that reason is)

I have a new old friend. We had a past. We have a present. Now what we have in the future, remains to be seen. But I know it will be gooood.