Sunday, March 19, 2006


It's been a while, I know. To all of you who missed me... Awww.

To all of you, who didn't, suck it up, cause I am back.

Safe to say, I am off my Christmas Poopie phase. Do I hear a couple of sighs of relief? Anyway, I think I should just do a quick recap of days gone by.

March 8th, Woman's Day. The office chickies went for a buffet lunch and donnedtheir pinky-est of pink outfits. I wore black. But I accessorized with a nice hot pink scarf. A couple of posts ago, I mentioned the new girl, and how the guy with the national treasure derrière can't take his eyes off her? Well Women's day was worse. She wore a little pink skirt that went ching-ching every time she walked. And I watched his eyes follow her everywhere. Damn her ching-ching skirts. Post this poopie-ish moment, my women's day turned out to be quite nice after all - I went out dancing with five boys. Happy Women's day to me!

March 10th - Friday. I went out with a huge group of people from the office.First to a cowboy themed restaurant called U-turn. They served us drinks and chilly cheese toast, and we wore the cowboy hats, and I occasionally yelled,"Nasty Jack, you didn't go up there to go fishin'" - A la Broke back mountain.
We then went to a place called Shooters, which usually is quite nice, but that night, the dregs of society were bumping into us. On purpose. This ended in one of my friends almost getting into a fist fight, until we got ourselves into a rickshaw and left.

13th March Monday. Normal boring workday. Went home, freshened up and got mentally prepared for a dinner with bloggers Noojes and Harjee. We went to this lovely place called Out of the Blue, one of Noojes' haunts. They all know her there, except for this one new hostess, we nicknamed her V for Vendetta. Cause we are sure she has something against the two of us. After about 2 bottles of wine between four people, a yummy fondue and two beautifuly cheesy pastas, and of course, Noojes acting like a Japanese tourist, randomly clicking picture after picture, my 'Meet Harjee Nite' was over.

14th March Tuesday. The day was blah. Then lunch came. Four of us decided to skip work and go for a nice long lunch. So we went to Independence Café. After about a three and a half hour lunch, we strolled back into the office, picked upour bags and left for the day. But first, I went to the Hyatt to say bye to Harjee, and to meet his hot little friend. Now this friend is a budding model/actor, and get this... he thinks I am hot. Hahahaa. Me. Wow. Happy Women'sday to me! No wait, that was last week. Smiles. So later the office gang kind of converged at this girls house, we played truth or dare and sang karaoke until about 12:30, when I left for home.

15th March Wednesday. Holi. Colour. In my hair. Everywhere. Crazy office boys pouring buckets of wateron me. Crazy office girls putting colour, where colour shouldn't go. Coloureverywhere, pink, orange, blue, purple, crap.. some black oily thing!! Crazy boy makes Bhang. Crazy me, decided to have some. Crazy fun. Yummy South Indian food.Crazy taxi and rickshaw ride home. Slept like a log.
Oh yea, and the new girl came, she wore white. Arrgh. Her top clung to her.Arrrgh. She did not want any colour on her face or body cause she breaks out inlittle feminine rashes. Arrrgh. So my national treasure boy was more than happyto slap the colour on her ass! And I watched. Drenched. Purple. Dammit.

17th March Friday. Wedding. I looked fabulous in straightened hair and borrowed garb.

18th March SaturdayLeft by boat for Alibaug. Eleven acres of a gorgeous resort to our selves. , with a rather questionable pool, that had a lions head spouting water constantly. Very weird. But we got into our little tankinis and stayed in the pool from seven in the evening to about one in the morning. So much fun, so much madness. Some one even stole my blue osho’s. Not to panic, I got them back in the morning.

19th March Sunday. Got on to another boat and headed across very choppy seas back to Bombay. I kept yelling at ships to move out of our way cause 'We're gonna crashhh'. I think i seriously scared some people on that boat, especially the sea sick ones. And to keep you fully up to date, now sitting, groggy eyed typing what may be one of my worse written posts.
Feel free to jump in about now, saying something nice ;)

Anyway. That's about all for now. I promise not to be gone for so long again, do I hearsome sighs of disappointment? Come on now, admit it...

You missed me.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

quantum leaps and christmas poops

In the year 1913, physicist Niels Bohr coined the term Quantum leap. It was used to describe how the electrons, which zip around in atoms can instantaneously switch from one orbit to another without physically passing between them.

This is how I switch moods. I've been switching from happy to sad without actually realizing what physical or emotional element has caused my mood to change, and if I can't figure it out, who will?

Now I am not no physicist. But in the year 2006, I have a theory. It's a theory of Christmas Poop. I feel like Christmas Poop. When you feel so happy, full of the spirit and the love and the warmth, but the next day (it need not be a 24 hour interval) it's all poop. I feel happy one minute and I feel like shit the next minute. Christmas has always been a fun time for me. I love the season. Poop, I am not so fond of.

I had such a great time when I went out with some ex colleagues and current colleagues. I danced my ass off, and jumped and requested songs. It was Christmas. Then the guy whom I had a crush on in my ex office, told me he was seeing someone, as he dropped me to my gate. I felt like poop.

I woke up in the morning feeling great, refreshed. I wanted to shop. I decided to help my aunt with some craft. I cut and stuck and I was covered in gold paper. Christmas. Then mid afternoon I had a major headache, I took an Asprin and went to sleep and woke up when the day was over and wasted. No shopping for me. Poop.

I walked into the office in the morning, looking pretty in a little skirt and pink slippers. I got many compliments, even a whistle. Christmas. Then I worked till about nine thirty and went home, still pretty, but who cared? Poop.

This is not a usual thing. I am not perennial Christmas poopie. I do believe the moon and the stars and the galaxy and the nebulous are all aligning in a particular angle to make me feel like Christmas poop. This probably also explains the quantum leap of my moods.

Ahh the physics of me...

Saturday, March 04, 2006

not a good thing

It's already March. How time flies. Even when you're not having the most fun. For a while now, there has been virtually nothing I could write about. Not only on the blog, but at work to. This is not a good thing. I am a writer, so writer's bloc for me is like hydrophobia for a diver, or vertigo for a pilot, or... you get my drift.

I have been stuck on this one thought for so long. Probably because I am not motivated by it. I have nothing to say about it. I don't relate to it, and I certainly don't understand it. This is not a good thing. Especially when I have to be creative about it. Especially because our new creative director and national creative director have joined us. So when we have these group meetings, and I have nothing to show, I end up looking like a complete idiot. "Who hired her", they're thinking. I'm sure.

To add to my stress, as much as I wanted a group change, it hasn't happened. I have continually asked and begged, so not my style, and when the list came out, I was still in the old group. This is not a good thing. Especially since my boss does not like me at all. And we are just civil to each other. Teamwork, commitment and vision, we have none of it. In fact those are just some of the things we don't have.

But what we do have in the office is a new girl. She has joined us in the client-servicing department. She spends at least three hours in front of the mirror everyday putting on her face. One inch of face. There is blush, eyeliner, lipstick and lots of bling. She has chemically straightened hair. She wears clothes so tight she puts a well-packed sausage to shame. And the boys love her. She has a silver handbag, and a mini-me of the handbag that carries her mobile. I'm serious. There is a tiny three-inch silver handbag, with a strap and buttons that she carries around because her jeans are too tight to stuff her prissy little mobile in them. I'm being a bitch again. This is not a good thing.

I think I have also been in this state of perpetual PMS for a very long time now. I have been rude, overly sensitive and highly moody. I have yelled at and hugged the same person in one day, leaving them completely confused and, I'm sure, a little scared. I have not been eating, then binging on something unhealthy like peanuts. I have lost my mojo. The thing that makes me want to wake up in the morning, and start a new day of my fabulous life. The thing that makes me want to live. I have lost it. This is not a good thing.

You know what else I have lost? The will to wake up at seven am in the morning and go for a nice, revitalizing walk in the mornings on Bandstand. Fresh air, sea breeze and aching thighs, that's what good mornings are made of. I haven't done it in so long, and now I feel fat. This is not a good thing. Because feeling fat leads me to think I am not attractive to anyone, which leads me to feel bad about myself, which leads me to not wanna meet anyone, which leads me to be all pissy. Which leads people into keeping away from 'that grouchy woman there'.

My tooth hurts. My weekend plans have been ruined. The new girl is pissing me off. My boss is an ass. My appraisal was bad. My head hurts because of my tooth. My fear is that all this is because of the chicken I ate last night. My hair is having a bad year. My desk is right under a loose light bulb, so it's going disco on me. My computer at work is too slow for even a blonde. I am too bitchy for my own good.

This is not a good thing.