Tuesday, November 29, 2005


~~everytime i think of you i get flyerbutts??...errbuttflies??...flybees??...butterflies??~~

Thursday, November 24, 2005

regard to the mail

Today I got a mail about the best moments in life. They were very generic but they touched you. They were things like laughing till your stomach hurt and listening to the rain etc.

It made me think of the moments I will never forget. Good. Bad.

I remember my first kiss. He was Parsi and I thought i would marry him. It was on the first floor of a building I had tuitions in. It was just a peck, nothing major at all. But I knew that I liked it. And I knew I would probably do it again.

I remember when my grandma died. It was during my second year junior college final exams, I had a history paper. My sisters and I were woken up at about 3am. My dad told me not to come to the house; he said maybe I should revise instead. I didn’t do either. I wrote in my diary instead. When I went to college I had this weird look on my face, and my then best friend looked straight at me and asked me 'who died?'

I remember a night I had at a girlfriend’s house. We sat up all night next to her kitchen window, with red wine and pizza and we laughed so hard I could not feel my face in the morning.

I remember then night when my girlfriends from college got together in one of our houses, and the five of us went on the internet to check out a porn site. I can’t be sure but I think it was called megapenises.com or something equally disgusting. All of us were staring so intently at the screen that when the mighty penis picture loaded we were so disgusted we cancelled dinner plans.

I remember my first kiss in the rain.

I remember sitting in front of my computer with lyrics to “Picture” by Sheryl Crowe and Kid rock singing a duet loudly with my guy.

I remember sitting in my college foyer and rating chicks with two of the horniest boys in my college. It was a lesson well learnt. And time well spent.

I remember my 23rd birthday. The after party. The bubblewrap. The music. Two months. Ford cars. Allies. Parties. Boatclub. 2004.

I remember kissing in the corridor.

I remember my prom. I went in a black gown and for the most part they played hard core rock. So I watched my date head bang with a girl who was wearing jeans, a girl he eventually dated for almost 3 years after.

I remember the day I heard that Sammy was in the hospital. I couldn’t stop shaking. I still don’t believe it. And I still wish it never happened.

I remember a Valentines Day when me and the girls went out together and decided to boycott everything romantic and mushy because we were single.

I remember a Valentines Day that was a disaster because me and my boy couldn’t find a single place to eat. So we had Chinese takeout on the floor of my house in the midst of boxes, cause we were moving.

I remember the 26th rains. I put in my papers that day, and ironically I had to stay in the Leo office for about 28 hours after that.

I remember my first day in Leo Burnett. And my last day.

I remember the ritual I had with my time-table after every exam. Which involved a ceremonious tearing and burning and a hope that I would never have to write another paper.. This may have gone on for about 11 years. I miss it.

life's best moments

The feeling of falling in love
Feeling the rain on your face
Laughing until your stomach hurts
Listening to your favorite song on the radio
Finding money in a pant that you haven't used for a year
Calls at midnight that last for hours
Waking up to realize it is still possible to sleep for a couple more hours.
Feeling butterflies
Taking a long bus ride
Sharing chocolate cake
Having someone warm next to you when you’re cold (a recent rickshaw ride is an example: I hope you know I'm talking about you.)

Thursday, November 10, 2005

paradise lost

I have attained nirvana. I have realized why there are no hot, nice men around. The answer is staring us in the face every Friday night and then again on Saturday.
The reason is that all of the really hot yummy sex gods, who can hold decent conversations and are really good people - are Lost.
It’s amazing that all the men on this television drama are just to die for, Ok with the exception of Hurley, I’m not into the rounded variety.
Take Sawyer for example, perfect smile, perfect body, perfect attitude, perfect.
The doctor, yea he may be a little goody-two-shoes nice guy but he is yummy too, and you don’t find that combination around too much.
Boon, god rest his soul, is a hottie. Even if I were his half non-sister sister, I would be all over him. Plus the whole protective attitude towards the one woman he has been in love with for all these years…Hot and committed- where do you find those?
And of course there is the yummy Japanese guy who can’t speak English. (Weird that the ONLY hot Japanese guy on the planet is lost?!) He is also committed. He has also god a great body. He risked everything for his woman.
Then there is the black guy. He is not hot, but he wanted nothing more than to be with his son. While most men are running away from responsibilities, he is running to them.

But oh, oh, oh Sawyer. Oh how I would love to be stuck on an island with him. Reading, drinking miniatures and lots and lots of wild island lovin… hmmm time for a day dream.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

blind, mad love

This is something I got. Unlike usual mails, it was kinda nice.

A long time ago, before the world was created and humans set foot on it for the first time, vices floated around and were bored, not knowing what to do. One day, all the vices and virtues were gathered together and were more bored than ever. Suddenly, Ingenious came up with an idea: "Let's play hide and seek!" All of them liked the idea and immediately Madness shouted: "I want to count, I want to count!" And since nobody was crazy enough to want to seek Madness, all the others agreed. Madness leaned against a tree and started to count: "One, two, three..."

As Madness counted, the vices and virtues went hiding.

Tenderness hung itself on the horn of the moon... Treason hid in a pile of garbage... Fondness curled up between the clouds...and Passion went to the centre of the earth.... Lie said that it would hide under a stone, but hid at the bottom of the lake... whilst Avarice entered a sack that he ended up breaking. And Madness continued to count: .... "seventy nine, eighty, eighty one..."

By this time, all the vices and virtues were already hidden - except Love.

For undecided as Love is, he could not decide where to hide. And this should not surprise us, because we all know how difficult it is to hide Love.
Madness: "...ninety five, ninety six, ninety seven..." Just when Madness got to one hundred.........Love jumped into a rose bush where he hid. And Madness turned around and shouted: "I'm coming, I'm coming!"

As Madness turned around, Laziness was the first to be found, because Laziness had no energy to hide. Then he spotted Tenderness in the horn of the moon, Lie at the bottom of the lake and Passion at the centre of the earth. One by one, Madness found them all - except Love.

Madness was getting desperate, unable to find Love. Envious of Love, Envy whispered to Madness: "You only need to find Love and Love is hiding in the rose bush." Madness grabbed a wooden pitch fork and stabbed wildly at the rosebush. Madness stabbed and stabbed until a heartbreaking cry made him stop. Love appeared from the rose bush, covering his face with his hands. Between his fingers ran two trickles of blood from his eyes. Madness, so anxious to find Love, had stabbed out Love's eyes with a pitch fork. "What have I done! What have I done!" Madness shouted. "I have left you blind! How can I repair it?"

And Love answered: "You cannot repair my eyes. But if you want to do something for me, you can be my guide." And so it came about that from that day on...

Love is blind and is always accompanied by Madness.

birdy num-num

Today was the longest day in the history of days.. I walked into the office and from the time i put my bag down, i was stuck with work. It was horrible. By the time it was about 5pm or so, my eyes were glazing over and i was gazing outside the thick-glassed window, at the diffused sun. And then i saw a bird.

I think i must have followed it for about 15 mins.. what a bird it was.

It was not one of those shitty pigeons, those fools don't deserve wings, they mostly just sit on wires or waddle through some scum-filled puddle on the road. Stupid waste-of-bird- flesh creatures.

It's not like I go around killing them or anything, I just think that if you are given to fly then you should do it as much as possible, unlike these bird-brains who rather walk like Egyptians on some balcony of some obscure building.. Any way, enough pigeon-bashing (stupid pigeons!!)

Anyway, this bird i was watching must have been a Kite or an Eagle or something, it was quite a distance away. It was on some kind of trip though... up and down and then it did this little jerky thing mid-flight and then some random flying to no where.. fun bird. So after about fifteen minutes of going crazy, it perched itself on the top-most branch of a tree and watched the sunset.

There i was sitting in the office, pretending to think about some vague offer ad, when all i wanted to do was become a bird and fly away...

What a life, i thought. If i was a bird i would fly all over the place.. imagine the scope!! But if i was a bird i would not know the magnificence of my abilities. And therefore i would never enjoy the flying as much, because i would have so much time to fly, it would be the only thing i needed to do. And since I am a bird, i have little to do besides nesting and flying. So it would not be as much of a release as i think it is now. But if as a bird i had an ability of picking the car I wanted to 'ruin' each day, then that would be cool. Although those decisions would, in reality, be made purely by random choices and not like a personal vendetta, cause as a bird i would not have any personal relationships to develop any vendettas...

Thankfully, some guy with coffee snapped me out of this birdy num-num numbing train of thought.

Stay tuned folks, next week... 'If I was a dung-beetle'

Wednesday, November 02, 2005


There are some questions that I can never answer.
Some I should be able to answer, and others.... oh the others!

What do you do?
This one seems fairly easy. Usually it just ends after I answer, I'm a copywriter in an Ad agency. But sometimes, and those are the times I fear... I get a toughie.. the dreadful

What does a copywriter DO?
Crap... I mean I know what i do, but i have no idea how to explain it to people, who haven't a clue.. and trust me there are a lot of them. So this is like a regular conversation,

person: so what do copywriters do really?
me: Well, we write ads.
p: So you type, like a secretary? you copy it?
me: No, no i write them on my own
p: ahh, so how does it happen?
me: see, there is an agency and clients come to us, and we make ads for them.
p: ok so you are into production?
me: no, I write, like for newspaper ads, the headlines you see.. the words!
p: ahhh ok so only print?
me: no no, we do radio, television too
p: ahh so you are into production?
me: no, i write the idea..
p: (blank stare)
me: like if i have an idea for a radio spot, i will write it and it goes into production after it is approved..
p: oh ok, what do you do in the day?
me: I think.
p: you think?
me: yes, i think about the brief and try to come up with something creative...
p: so, you sit in the office and you think... all day?
me: well... yes, i guess... i mean there is also the writing and the creative aspect to it...
By this time, they have started to focus on a little spot on the wall or something, so as not to fall asleep, or they have just given up, just nodding and agreeing, cause it's just easier... Meanwhile I ramble, you know it's really hard trying to be creative 24/7... and they are thinking, she gets paid to think.. jeezzz.

Anyway, another question, mostly asked by girls, Do you do your eyebrows?
Now, i really don't see how this is anybodys business? And i think eyebrows are weird in the first place, i don't see what purpose they serve in our lives, but that aside.. why do you want to know about my hair management? This is part of the reason I hardly get along with women.

Another question, Why are you single?
Hmm.. glad you asked, It is mandatory for my company that i do not engage in any sexual acts and/or emotional intimacy for the entire duration of my employment with them, which works well for me because as part of my religion, I have to be single for a certain amount of time in my life to attain nirvana and ultimate happiness.

How much do you weigh?
Excuse me?? Am i being put into an aircraft carrier? Am i going through an impromptu physical? Am i sitting ON you?!??!

How are you?
Now this is a regular question.. but if you ask it, make sure you wait to here the answer.
I have known people who ask this fairly intimate question, as they are passing you on the street, in a corridor etc.. It's not like they care how you are really..

it's more like a suffix to "hi": hihowareyou?

I urge you. Wait and here the answer, it may not always be, I'mfineandyou?

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

division 'D'

Today is diwali. It's the festival of lights, and a whole lotta mind-numbing sound too. There are fire crackers being blasted just outside my window, as if i was not already that deaf.
Yesterday, I went to meet my school friends.

Surprisingly, it was very fun. I mean these are people who have see you since the time you were about three feet high, wearing bloomers and had a tendency to pee in your pants under extreme pressure. They have seen you with pimples, known when you started your period, probably the only men who would have seen you with leg hair and undone eye-brows. They have seen you at the most awkward stage in your life. They have seen you grow into an individual, they have seen you develop a personality, an identity.

Some of these guys i have known for about 22 years!

22 years and we still talk about school and the teachers and the bad things we used to do. One of the guys confessed that some of them used to drop pencils to look up our skirts... And the fact that after about 8years, they are mature enough to admit what assholes they were...they sweared they wouldn't do it now!

22 years.. you think you know these people! It's crazy, the one guy I thought was a nerd is making games for cell phones.. one of his games is called Cheese! I thought he would be punching numbers in some corner office. One is an engineer on a ship, one is a diver below. We have chartered accountants, teachers, directors of companies, entertainers... copywriters ;-)

22 years, yet whenever we meet it's like a time warp. We go back to teasing eachother, back to talking about those specimens from our class whom we never liked (and who are ofcourse never invited.)

22 years, because of which these guys have the need to treat the girls like ladies, they pick us up if need be, they most definatly drop us home, they pay for our meals if we have no cash, they open doors, they wait until you have your meal served before they serve theirs, they make you feel safe. I know I will be reached home safe and sound no matter what.

We used to be the worst class in that school, always in trouble, we were punished and made to kneel on the corridor, we got caught going onto the terrace, we were a class that almost got suspended, we were the class that rebeled against the teacher who failed us all, we put chalk on the math teachers chair, we stole 'Limca' from a truck parked outside school, we made our science teacher cry, we jammed the english proffs drawer... But we are the only class from our batch who meet, even after 8years.

Division 'D' rocks...