Tuesday, October 31, 2006

You know what I hate…

I hate it when you cannot be close to the people whom you care about, because of distance.
I hate distance. Both geographical and emotional – I hate it when you feel so far away from someone with whom you once bonded so well.
I hate it when two girls only start talking because you talk to both of them, and they end up bonding and leaving you out of most things.
I hate it.
I hate it when you are an afterthought, when you are called just because someone feels they should “do the right thing”.
I hate it when you know a situation is so bad for you, when all you’re better judgements scream “run, fool, run” and you don’t, instead you wait and take it all in.
I hate waiting. Waiting to be picked up, waiting to be met, waiting for a phone call, waiting for a plan to be made, waiting for results. I hate waiting.
I hate it when you get that overwhelming feeling that your friends are not telling you something.
I hate it when you think that overwhelming feeling maybe just your paranoia playing with you.
I hate it when people make fun of where you live. Whether it’s the distance or the name – Do they realise you had no say in the matter when it was ‘christened’?
I just hate it.
I hate it when people comment on what you are wearing when you just walked into a place.
I hate it when your so-called ‘girlfriends’ talk to you, then talk to each other online, minus you.
I hate being a third wheel.
I hate pretending I am happy for couples who are happy.
I hate happy couples.
I hate the fact that the friends I had in 2004 are not my core group anymore.
I hate it when the guys you hate give you attention, and the guys you like, don’t.
I hate the fact that friendship is based on time/place/circumstance.
I hate hating where you live.
I hate it when you’re sleep is ruined because of some random electricity cut.
I hate it when you have to pretend that all the jokes about where you live don’t bother you at all.
I hate that I am petrified of falling in love, getting married and having a baby.
I really hate it.
I hate that sometimes all I think about is doing all three of those things.
I hate being weak and cranky.
I hate negative vibes.
I hate it when you just stop bonding with the people you used to love hanging out with.
I hate feeling left out. And I’m beginning to feel it more. And hate it more.
I hate having to use humour as a defence mechanism.
I hate it when a once big group segregates into mini groups and you don’t know where you belong.
I hate it when you don’t want to belong.
I hate not telling people how I truly feel.
I hate not having a friend I can talk to. Someone who is not just around for the moment. Someone who will be there for me when I am sixty-four even.
I hate when you have nothing to write about and the one thing you decide to write about it how much you hate everything. I hate that ‘things I hate’ becomes a topic for my blog.
I hate hating so many things.
I hate when you bear your soul, and then wait for it to be stomped on over and over.

I hate it.


I despise all of it.

6 comments:

Jerrster said...

oh my....after reading this I feel like crap...swear I wasn't making fun of the Names of Indian places...good grief.
I'm talking about a comment I just left over at Noojes.

I hate Spaz being unhappy and knowing only one joke to tell her to try and get her out of the funk.

2 Cannibals are eating a Clown and one says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?"

Spazsim Chasm said...

It's Alright Jerry. It wasn't directed to you at all :)

Anonymous said...

you forgot about ANTS!

Don't you hate ANTS! What a flimsy girl you are.

Anonymous said...

and Mr Rose for that matter. I remember your poignant words "he is a shit" quite clearly.

Spazsim Chasm said...

Yes. I hate Mr Rose and ANTS. Thanks Egg, you really are a true friend :)

Anonymous said...

wow.




wow.