Thursday, June 14, 2012

the sound of settling

So I was having a conversation with a friend the other day and the topic diverted to “settling”.

He is of the opinion that the older people get, the more likely they are to settle for someone who is remotely compatible to them, and thus embark on the serious relationship journey that eventually leads to marriage. Because marriage is not something people want, it’s a societal compromise.

As you can imagine, my initial reaction to this was disgust at his lack of enthusiasm about Love. People don’t settle, I said, they fall in love, they meet ‘the one’… if people settled then how do you explain the whole ‘I married my soul mate’ statement.

‘It’s a lie’, he said poker-faced. ‘You make your own soul mate. It’s a mixture of compromise and perception.’

And that got me thinking. I conceded, begrudgingly so of course. He was completely right.

Yes, it’s a damn cynical way to look at life, right? But it’s also a freaking realistic one. It makes you rethink the whole concept of love, or whether a concept like that even exists. It makes you wonder: Is there such a thing as a soul mate or love at first sight. Or are they all just gooey, lovey-dovey words for compromise and settling?
Is it like: You’ve always liked fried eggs before you met him, he likes scrambled. Suddenly you wake up thinking, hey, scrambled is not half bad
Or: You love sleeping with the air-conditioner on, but he likes the fan. Hey, he’ll just buy a thicker blanket.

Nope, sadly, if one is to go by this theory you’re not being a good girl/boy friend; you’re being a sniffling fool who is petrified of ending up alone and living with cats!

On the other hand, the positive, head-in-the-clouds, all-is-full-of-love hand, love is wonderful and the feeling you get when you know you’re loved is even better.

So what if everyone else thinks you have cotton candy for a brain.

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