promenade of numbers

There are Six guys, all dressed in black, taking turns to jump from a grassy patch to a slab of concrete about four feet away. I hear claps, as one of the guys makes the jump, the second guy flexes his arms, and spot jumps, prepping for his turn. I'm not sure what the purpose is, maybe it's a new exercise fad? Or perhaps a new Olympic sport? Whatever it is, these guys All have an uncommon interest in it.

There are Five people standing in a circle, a man in dread-locks plays on a small drum, the others hoot and chant. They all look like a rave party in Goa threw up on them. I spot the neon-coloured embroidered "Om" fanny pack from a mile away. I glance over as a crowd begins to form around them. The louder they play, the bigger the crowd. It is some kind of 'drum circle'. The crowd doesn't understand what these people are doing, but in India it doesn't take much to get a crowd.

There are Four middle-aged women all in 'shalwar kameez' and brand new Nike shoes. They squeeze together on a a single bench, all trying to get a word in, gossiping on their routine evening "walk".

There are Three young girls dressed in small shiny clothes, ready for the night of clubbing they have been preparing for. They pose with each other, in every combination possible, and finally ask an innocent passerby to take a picture of them. They all secretly hope they look the best, so it can be their Facebook profile picture.

There are many Two's: couples sitting under trees, on benches, in the bushes, on the rocks. There are crowds of them, each engrossed in their own private moment. Some are in the middle of a lovers quarrel, some are about to kiss, and some have been together for so long, that they stare in opposite directions, but still hold hands.

And then there is the One, Me, walking home from work, slightly hunched from the weight of the world. Bag in one hand and a bright golden inflatable guitar in the other.

35mm of life

I have just come back from a work trip to the beautiful, magnificent, scenic Cape Town. I am lucky to have gone and I have no complaints. But I discovered a few things in my four days there. They may be silly at first, but I think they all, like most of life's learnings, have a deeper meaning that is yet to reveal itself. 
Firstly, I discovered that the people of this gorgeous land are friendly and very accommodating. The only downside is that they all wear very low pants. I saw more butt cracks in four days there than I have seen anywhere else (not that I keep a track of these things). It worried me at first, but then I got used to it, and it was almost inevitable that I would see one if someone bent or sat in front of me. So much so, it became an anomaly to not see one. As much as I love the scenery in Cape Town, that is one sight I would like never to see again, for a long time. 

Secondly, I discovered that I have an over active imagination that may borderline on paranoia. On the way back to India I was on a flight that seemed like a beginning of those corny airplane disaster movies, where something goes terribly wrong with the flight and people begin to show their true colours. First there was a man who began complaining to the ground staff about something or the other, in the plane disaster movie, he would be the annoying cynic who screams "we're all going to die", or the one who grabs a child from a woman so he can be saved first. Then there was a young cricket team. They would be the ones who help to get the people out, like forming a chain or something. They wouldn't be individual characters, but one mass of people whom in the credits would be called 'cricket team'. Then there was a mother with a crying infant, enough said. There is always a mother with a crying infant in disaster movies. She will be the sacrificial one who says something like ''leave me behind and save my child!". There was an old woman who complained to the flight attendants about the bread, they were more that peeved with her and tried to explain that everyone on the plane was getting the same kind of bread. She would be the one is sucked out of the airplane when the wing rips off. Cause you know, no one likes her from the start of the movie anyway. So then it got me thinking, would I be the protagonist? Would I keep everyone calm and instil confidence in the plane during the time of need. Personally, I think not. 

Which comes to my last discovery. I am quite wimpy. I like to think of myself as having a few leadership qualities, but maybe in a movie, I'd be cast as "Lady 3", and I'd say one line that does not take the film anywhere really. Like maybe I'd scream "listen to him", speaking to the cynic about the heroic protagonist who will save everyone. 

Yes, I'd probably be "Lady 3". And that makes me sad. I should change. I should take control. I should make myself the heroine in life's movie. take some chances, jump some bridges. I could have stayed a few more days in Cape Town. But Lady 3 felt a little scared to be in a new city all by herself. What if she didn't make it back? Lady 3 is a wimp and I want to change her. But that comes with time, as do most things in life.

And I have time, because thankfully Life is not a 2-hour long B-grade movie. 

P.S : I realise now how incredibly irrelevant the first point is. But I am sure there is a deeper meaning hidden there somewhere... I just have to crack it. Pun totally intended. 

anatomy of a rant

I just finished watching reruns of Season 4 of Grey’s Anatomy. I like the show. I like the medicine. I love Dr. Miranda Bailey. I love every other doctor in that show. But I hate, I hate Meredith Grey. I hate the protagonist of the show. I hate the character the show is named after. She is an annoying, self-absorbed, un-gorgeous, painfully whiney, stupid doctor. She gets this dreamy guy and she keeps throwing it away. How can one person keep messing up and still keep on being forgiven? So what if her father left her when she was 5, Christina’s father died when she was 5. So what if her mom was a giant bitch, Carev’s mom had a psychotic breakdown when he was a boy and he dealt with it on his own. Even if the Chief Resident calls her on a wrong she did, like operating on a patient, she brings up her dead mother and the pathetic life she is living, rather than being answerable to him, the Chief! And if that wasn’t annoying enough, she manages to make everyone draw their attention away from major issues because she is too busy drowning or putting her hands on a bomb. She is one of those people whom you would hate if she worked in your office, because she’s the one who knows the boss and gets personal favours from him. She didn’t write anything on her intern exam, but got a second chance. But when George fails, he doesn’t. Is that normal? What this show is teaching me is a lot of scientific stuff, how hard a doctors life is and also that if your mother didn’t manage to sleep with your boss, then chances are, you’ll get left behind. Stupid woman should have just drowned in Season 2.

the sound of settling

So I was having a conversation with a friend the other day and the topic diverted to “settling”.

He is of the opinion that the older people get, the more likely they are to settle for someone who is remotely compatible to them, and thus embark on the serious relationship journey that eventually leads to marriage. Because marriage is not something people want, it’s a societal compromise.

Ugh.
As you can imagine, my initial reaction to this was disgust at his lack of enthusiasm about Love. People don’t settle, I said, they fall in love, they meet ‘the one’… if people settled then how do you explain the whole ‘I married my soul mate’ statement.

‘It’s a lie’, he said poker-faced. ‘You make your own soul mate. It’s a mixture of compromise and perception.’

And that got me thinking. I conceded, begrudgingly so of course. He was completely right.

Yes, it’s a damn cynical way to look at life, right? But it’s also a freaking realistic one. It makes you rethink the whole concept of love, or whether a concept like that even exists. It makes you wonder: Is there such a thing as a soul mate or love at first sight. Or are they all just gooey, lovey-dovey words for compromise and settling?
Is it like: You’ve always liked fried eggs before you met him, he likes scrambled. Suddenly you wake up thinking, hey, scrambled is not half bad
Or: You love sleeping with the air-conditioner on, but he likes the fan. Hey, he’ll just buy a thicker blanket.

Nope, sadly, if one is to go by this theory you’re not being a good girl/boy friend; you’re being a sniffling fool who is petrified of ending up alone and living with cats!

On the other hand, the positive, head-in-the-clouds, all-is-full-of-love hand, love is wonderful and the feeling you get when you know you’re loved is even better.

So what if everyone else thinks you have cotton candy for a brain.

i do... not

So I was thinking about getting married. Like, you know, all the plans and preps that will go into getting a big fat catholic wedding together. And then it hit me. The most basic thing of all is the one thing I have no answer to: Who will be my bridesmaid?


I mean, I don’t have a best girlfriend who I can call and vent to or cry with and laugh while stuffing our faces with food and ice cream. I don’t have anyone with whom I have sleepovers with or share my every intimate secret with. I don’t have one person who will be that first friend whom I tell the ‘good news’ to, whatever the news is: a new job, a good interview, a marriage proposal even.(FYI: I haven’t had any of the above-mentioned things happen at all, but this is not really about that)


So while I can think of 500 people who I would love to invite to my wedding, when and if I get married, I don’t have that one girlfriend who will hold my veil up as I walk down the aisle or hold my legs as I nervously try to escape away through a back window.


And modern sitcoms don’t help. Friends is well, about friends. How I met your mother, is about friends. And even the socially awkward Amy from Big Bang Theory has friends. And all the women in those sitcoms will always have the answer to the ‘who will be your bridesmaid’ question.


This depresses me greatly.

change

I wrote this for fun in 2009... I just looked at it again in 2012 and thought... wouldn't it be fun if I saw how much or how little has changed. Well, fun for me anyway...

1. I have an aversion to Math. Anything to do with numbers freaks me out a little.
(I still do... so this hasn't)

2. I want to live on my own but I’m afraid I’d be way too lonely. Same with travelling alone. (I've finally moved out, and I live alone and I am very very happy)

3. I despise people who promote their blog. It’s a PRIVATE forum… you want visitors write for a frikking paper! (hmmm... not so violently against this.. haha)

4. I love coffee. (stopped drinking coffee, unless absolutely necessary... like I need to stay awake for something important..)

5. Sleeping makes me very happy. (still does!)

6. I’m cynical to the point of self-loathing. (much less so, there's hope for me yet)

7. I’m easily bored and need to learn a new craft every month— currently on Quilling. (stopped learning crafts... but i have started to cook... and i love it!)

8. I’ve always wanted to be a lead in a band. Got offered once and didn’t take it up because I am chicken. (I am very proud to say that I am a lead in a 15-member band, singing all my favorite songs!)

9. I am chicken (still a little, i guess)

10. I cannot suck up to save my life. (this will never change!)

11. Every emotion I have shows on my face. Most of the time this is not good. (neither will this)

12. I like pink. (who can give up pink?)

13. I put nimboo in almost everything I eat. (love love nimboo)

14. I believe I should have been born in the 60’s (singing janis joplin at shows makes me feel like I am... so there)

15. I’m insecure. (no comment - working on this one, catch me 3 years from now...)

16. Relationships are all or nothing for me. There is no grey. (true true)

17. I cry at the drop of a hat. (working on this too... much less so than normal, I'm proud to say!)

18. I LOVE bags. (still do!)

19. Other things I love: Candles, jewellery and things that smell nice. (yea, but not sure why this made it to the top 25 things)

20. I’m a foodie and it shows on my ass :( (yea still a foodie, working on the ass :))

21. I got an 8 GB pen drive for Valentines Day and I loved it :) (I still use it)

22. I have a special ring tone for the people I love. (true still)

23. I was put up to this list thing by KI.. (this is a random truth)

24. I love lists so I’m not complaining at all. (Who doesn't love a good list... the very fact I am redoing it 3 years later proves that this point is true!)

25. I like Post-its (Sad to note that someone stole my box of post-its from my desk at the office. Not happy with post-it stealing at all..)