If you travel by a local train at peak hours, you should definitely have something like Green Day or Prodigy playing on your i-pod. It makes you feel like you’re in the middle of a concert mosh-pit and therefore makes it a lot less annoying to deal with.
In these paranoid swine-flu times, a subtle cough will be enough to make the annoying sweaty woman in the dentist mask leap away from you, giving you space to move and breath. Warning: Do not use this maneuver too freely; it may cause you to be thrown out if the train.
After getting into a train, some women make an exhaling sound that resembles a deflating tyre. *fussssssss*. Don’t be alarmed, you don’t need to look for their ‘stephenie’ or anything (they don’t have one, although their trunk could pack it in easily). They are actually exhaling with satisfaction at getting into a train, although it may also be because they are exhausted after climbing into the train.
When two women are fighting in a language you don’t understand, do not to imitate them by yelling gibberish, trying to mimic their high-pitched tone—they do not find this amusing in the least.
When in a local train, size is relative: A woman with an ass the size of China will manage to squeeze into a 1.5 inch space if given the freedom to do so. Don’t challenge her, she loves a challenge.
Do not look a woman carrying a baby in the eye. Do not make happy faces at the baby. If you do, the seat you have taken 15 minutes to get will be emotionally blackmailed from you.
Do not offer pregnant women seats in the train. They may not be pregnant after all— it’s called the protruding abdomen syndrome. What’s worse, they will take your seat anyway.
Do not be fooled into thinking that you will escape all of this, because women stop traveling after 10:00pm. This is an gross untruth.
5 comments:
There are some preggy women who get into a local late when it is completely packed, they will not wait for the next train nor get there early. Once in, they will pant and hold their womb like d baby is gonna slip off...and act giddy until they get a seat...have a look at them when they're getting off...fit as a fiddle!
does that mean men are more civilized and/or more sensitive to other's pain
*stepney.
I love being pedantic. Now, now, put that stick down.
@ Vee.. I know the kind.. if not pregnant they are old and frail when they enter and have a skip in their step when they leave.
@ Roy, I don't know about the men... I haven't ever had the balls to enter their compartment during peak hours...
@ Kim! arrrrgggghhhh I hate you!! :)
but, i won't be mad cause you are one of the few people who keep coming to read my blog... even if it is to just spot out spelling errors :P
lol.. outrageous!
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