I have nothing to say.
It's rare and I am worried for myself. We had an office party last Friday and I was uninterested and all I could think of was going home. After a couple of Vodkas, all I could think of was more Vodka and going home. I finally left at 10pm. Under normal circumstances, I would have made plans to stay at someone's house or something. But I just didn't want to.
I had an all night shoot for my film on Saturday night. I was overtly stressed, on the edge and very unapproachable. Even the male model smiled at me occasionally and instead of giving him a nice flirty look right back I looked pained and frustrated. At the end of the shoot all I was thinking about was the hours of editing and voice recording that will slowly take over my life for the next two weeks.
Two people asked me to meet them during the weekend and I have made excuses. If this continues all I will have left are Internet friends who are satisfied with an occasional mail and a smiley emoticon.
At work I sit at my desk. This is a huge deal because normally the last place you look for me is at my desk. Which is probably why no one can find me any more. I eat lunch alone. Either reading my book or listening to my i-pod, both are deemed to be very anti-social.
More than one person in the office has asked me if I am okay. Are you sick? Do you need some medication? How come you're so quite? Check for fever.
Throughout my journey to work and back home I have my eyes closed and I listen to music that calms me. There was a fight in the train and I didn't know until someone pushed me and I saw two women tugging at each other. Not that I would intervene anyway, but under normal circumstances I would at least be aware.
My conversation is strained. My interest in things outside my own existence has diminished. I don't look at, let alone talk to the guy sitting next to me - so much so he has invested in a pair of earphones and bobs his head to his music while I listen to mine.
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, I guess.
People think I am just still stuck in vacation mode. Maybe. My body is here, but my mind is so far away it's scary. I think I have just changed. That's a good excuse isn't it?
I need to snap out of it. This is getting me nowhere.
It's ruining my mood. It's depleting my energy. It's robbing me of my personality.
In short, it's got my mojo.
3 comments:
avast! dontcha wurrie there lass. ye'll git yer mojo back gud ya know. this scallawag help ye with me hook and stump ta git it back. ARRRR!
We miss the "real" you
Come back
noojes
Hello, friend, in order to find your mojo you must as many cheap sayings go, live in the present, which includes not only time but place. For its the only thing we have control over. and if u don't take care of it u'll have a cheap past. But there might be a quicker way, if u can settle for Moja instead of mojo u need not look any further than your sock drawer.
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