hihowruimfnenu?

There are some questions that I can never answer.
Some I should be able to answer, and others.... oh the others!


What do you do?
This one seems fairly easy. Usually it just ends after I answer, I'm a copywriter in an Ad agency. But sometimes, and those are the times I fear... I get a toughie.. the dreadful

What does a copywriter DO?
Crap... I mean I know what i do, but i have no idea how to explain it to people, who haven't a clue.. and trust me there are a lot of them. So this is like a regular conversation,

person: so what do copywriters do really?
me: Well, we write ads.
p: So you type, like a secretary? you copy it?
me: No, no i write them on my own
p: ahh, so how does it happen?
me: see, there is an agency and clients come to us, and we make ads for them.
p: ok so you are into production?
me: no, I write, like for newspaper ads, the headlines you see.. the words!
p: ahhh ok so only print?
me: no no, we do radio, television too
p: ahh so you are into production?
me: no, i write the idea..
p: (blank stare)
me: like if i have an idea for a radio spot, i will write it and it goes into production after it is approved..
p: oh ok, what do you do in the day?
me: I think.
p: you think?
me: yes, i think about the brief and try to come up with something creative...
p: so, you sit in the office and you think... all day?
me: well... yes, i guess... i mean there is also the writing and the creative aspect to it...
By this time, they have started to focus on a little spot on the wall or something, so as not to fall asleep, or they have just given up, just nodding and agreeing, cause it's just easier... Meanwhile I ramble, you know it's really hard trying to be creative 24/7... and they are thinking, she gets paid to think.. jeezzz.

Anyway, another question, mostly asked by girls, Do you do your eyebrows?
Now, i really don't see how this is anybodys business? And i think eyebrows are weird in the first place, i don't see what purpose they serve in our lives, but that aside.. why do you want to know about my hair management? This is part of the reason I hardly get along with women.

Another question, Why are you single?
Hmm.. glad you asked, It is mandatory for my company that i do not engage in any sexual acts and/or emotional intimacy for the entire duration of my employment with them, which works well for me because as part of my religion, I have to be single for a certain amount of time in my life to attain nirvana and ultimate happiness.

How much do you weigh?
Excuse me?? Am i being put into an aircraft carrier? Am i going through an impromptu physical? Am i sitting ON you?!??!

How are you?
Now this is a regular question.. but if you ask it, make sure you wait to here the answer.
I have known people who ask this fairly intimate question, as they are passing you on the street, in a corridor etc.. It's not like they care how you are really..

it's more like a suffix to "hi": hihowareyou?

I urge you. Wait and here the answer, it may not always be, I'mfineandyou?