spring board jinx

I went to Olive for a lovely four-course Italian meal with some friends the other night. We had a fabulous time. Apparently Olive is the place to be seen and all, I, on the other hand, was trying not to be seen because I arrived straight from work – in my jeans and a T-shirt glory.

The place is very nice and very lah-dee-dah as well. Those places are never really my scene but I had the pleasure of good, down-to-earth company. We were two single girls and one guy who is gonna be married in about 5 weeks. We had a great time talking and sharing stories.

When I told them about how the guy I kinda like has gone back to the States, she said, hey but you liked someone else who also went away, right? I, eyes lowered, sheepishly nodded the affirmative. So they laughed. And I instantly developed the ghastly nickname of “spring board”. Nasty aren't they?

Why? Because every guy I have met who is nice in the last two years have up and left within about two months of me knowing them. And two months is the maximum mind you. And they don’t go anywhere close. There was Kuwait, Canada, Australia, Sri Lanka and most recently Chicago.

So these “friends” of mine, began to giggle and make fun of me. Comments like, “Want a visa, why don’t you date her for a bit?” happened. Or, “Lemme kiss you. Oh damn it... It’s Canada, I wanted Australia. Can I kiss you again?”, “Hey, do you have a passport? How about an accent? Cool can we go out?” or “She likes it the intercontinental way, baby!!”

Even the guy who is getting married asked if we could go out a couple of times, cause he wants to settle abroad eventually. Apparently, I’m his only hope. Sigh.

Don’t get me wrong. I laughed my ass off at the comments. In fact I had a couple of super one-liners too, like maybe I should start charging: Visa Guaranteed. But I never really thought that much of it until I started counting. It was technically five in two years. But only three meant so much to me.

Even so, it’s sad isn’t it? Maybe it’s me. Maybe I see potential disaster. Ok, maybe it’s not so harsh. Maybe I see that it will never go anywhere. It works out well because I’m suddenly not afraid to commit. Because they would never ask. Right? I am suddenly devoid of thinking long term. I know I will never marry them, or get into that stage of a relationship when the fighting and the being nasty to each other begin. I know that I will never be taken for granted, cause it’s too short a time. I know they have only seen my good side and maybe a little of the bad. A very little.

So there is everything right with it really. It seems perfect doesn't it? Doesn't it seems foolproof?

It seems so.
But the cons out weigh the pros in such a big way. Because I want to show my bad side, sometimes. I wanna have those stupid little fights. I wanna make-up and I wanna know that the person is mine. That’s the reason I am sad. That’s the reason I feel empty everytime they go away. Because of the cons.



Damn those cons.