virtual slap in the face

Sometimes I hate what I do to myself. I hate that I put so much energy into relationships only for them to take a giant dump on my emotions. I hate that my happiness sometimes can depend on whether or not the current ‘he’ in my life is being nice to me and treating me well. I should be slapped for all the times I have preached to my friends about being your own woman, and for all the times I have told them that men don’t matter and men don’t make you happy. I have vowed to myself that I am not going to let any guy get me down, and here I go doing it again, thinking I can’t do better. Pause. This is me giving myself a virtual slap in the face. This is me sucking it up and trying very hard to feel better. I’m not going to get mad this time. This is me getting an instant new mantra. If it’s happy let it stay, if it’s crap, push it away.