I have come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as ‘pure love’ between a man and a woman anymore. It doesn’t exist, especially if both the man and the woman have had previous, failed relationships. We tend to dwell so deeply in the mistakes we’ve made because we were naïve and in love. The bitterness leads to a simple case of ‘hurt me once shame on you, hurt me twice shame on me’.
When I was 18 I was dating a guy who was older. I met him at a wedding and we instantly hit it off. He called, asked me out and for a year, we were seeing each other. He used to hang out a lot with his friend, who was a girl. They studied together and I, at that time, thought nothing of it. Why should I have any reasons to doubt him? I realized much later, that for the year that he was dating me, he was also dating this study buddy. We had alternate days with this jerk. And mostly, she had the weekends.
Ten years later, at 28, I cannot help but get horrible thoughts in my head when I hear that the guy I am dating has a really close friend, who happens to be a girl, and that he wants to spend time with her too. I have been hurt and that scar will never fade.
Another guy I was dating used to lie about who he was talking to on the phone. I could hear a woman’s voice on the other end, but he would insist it was a guy later. He would get text messages that he would quickly delete so I wouldn’t see them. Now, if the guy I am dating happens to walk away when he gets a mysterious phone call, I cannot help but think that he is lying to me about 'something'.
The games that couples play with each other today are not fun and light-hearted anymore. They only serve to screw with your mind. Why should you allow yourself to be hurt over and over again, when it is so clearly avoidable, right? Absolutely. But sadly, in building the high walls of self defense, you tend to miss out on all the genuinely nice things that make it all worth while—making that pure, unadulterated love between a man and a woman cease to exist.
Really, shame on us.
8 comments:
You just haven't met someone badass enough to make you forget about the prior shit!
i'd have believed that if i was 21... 'he' cannot possibly be evading me for this long. it's just not possible!
to quote barney, "wait for it"
@ Roy
It's obvious she can't wait till her boobs sag.
@spazsim
Maybe you are hunting with a bow and arrow, get a rifle.
pure love = pure shit
Hmmmmm...the things we put up with b'cos we think we're such wonderfully, loving women that it's alright if the b...... walks all over our dignity. Have been there done that - but thank God I saw the light!
C
Love your blog - blogrolled ya!
heyy, thanks Corinne :)
how, pray tell, did you see the light?
Ah...that's a good question..take a look at my post 'When loves Comes..."
C
http://www.everydaygyaan.com/2009/09/when-love-comes.html
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